Fun with postage!

Okay, I tried this story on a few people, and it fell sort of flat. It's a very difficult story to tell; I think it might be one of those "you had to be there" things. It could also, quite possibly, end up being even less funny in written form. But I will post it anyway because this is my blog.

So, a quick informational rundown. From what I can gather, a passport is what the government gives you as permission to leave the country. A visa is basically a stamp you get—in your passport—from the country you are traveling to, as permission to enter. But it's not like you can get your passport stamped upon arrival. You have to send your passport to the embassy in Washington D.C. several weeks in advance, have them process your application, and send back your stamped passport before you get on the plane—otherwise you can't get into whatever country you're attempting to enter.

I received my passport in the mail maybe two weeks ago. It came about six weeks after sending in my application, which was rather later than I had expected. The realization hit me that I was departing in about four weeks' time. That was bad. If it took the U.S. government six weeks to process a passport, how long would it take the Vietnamese embassy to process a visa?

I quickly assembled my application materials: the application itself, my passport, a $200 cashier's check, and . . . I apparently needed to send a prepaid envelope, or else they could not return my stamped passport to me. Prepaid envelope, eh? I thought to myself. That sounds simple enough.

I went to the post office, where I was told I could save a lot of money on the two envelopes (one to mail all the stuff to the embassy, the other for the embassy to mail the visa/passport back) by purchasing the postage online. Purchasing postage online, eh? I thought to myself. That sounds simple enough.

I go to purchase my postage online. It seems to be going smoothly. I purchase one label—the label for my application envelope. This is easy. All I need to do is enter the address, return address, send date, and it's done. I move on to the next label. This one also asks me for a date. What date could this one be referring to? I wonder. The send date, it insists. Gee, I think to myself, I don't know when this envelope will be sent. I have no idea how long it will take the embassy to process my application. However am I supposed to put a send date on it? Furthermore, the site insists on giving me a very small window of send dates to choose from—the farthest away, in fact, being only four days in the future. This is bad, I think. There is no way the embassy is going to receive my visa and process it within four days. But I need to get my application in the mail as soon as possible, or I might not get my visa back in time. The post office is closing for the weekend in twenty minutes. I select the farthest date, print the postage, and go to the post office.

Turns out I didn't have the post office hours right. They were already closed. This is really bad, because now not only is one send date wrong, the send date on the envelope containing the other envelope along with all of my application materials is also wrong, because it won't get mailed until next week. I slip it in the mailbox and return home, thoroughly conquered by the postal service.

I get an email the next day, telling me my package has arrived in Washington D.C. This comes as something of a surprise. I realize, suddenly, that just because the post office is closed does not necessarily mean the delivery service has already come through to pick up mail. So I had had one stroke of luck, and it made me feel a bit better. But I was still very worried about the send date on my return envelope. My dad, in an effort to cheer me up, joked that they might look at the date on the envelope, freak out, and rush to process the visa so they can send it on time. I laughed at this, but remained anxious.

My visa came in the mail two days later. I'm pretty sure what my dad said had happened exactly.

Yeah, you really had to be there.